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He was a grown-up - something I was still struggling to be.~~~While other college students were at frat parties and ballgames, Richard took me to plays and museums. I loved every second we spent together. I could never accurately describe all the emotions stirring inside when I was with this man. I had felt it in my dreams and pinched myself to make sure it was real now. Sexually, he took things slowly - just kissing and light petting. Kissing was so different with him. Boys didn't understand what a man knew - kissing is a foundation for intimacy, so don't brush past it.As we spent quality time together, he acknowledged my intelligence and respected it. We discussed our beliefs about life. I felt understood by him and accepted. My heart beat faster before each meeting with him. No one had affected me this way before.The time came when he invited me to his home. As soon as we were inside, he kissed me – a slow, deep, meaningful kiss. Richard always kissed me first. And I was a girl. “Not really.” I shook my head. “But you sound almost disappointed.”He scoffed, and I chuckled as I walked away.He didn’t say anything the next day, but the day after that, he looked at me again as I put my cloak on to head back inside. “Nothing? Really?”I smiled softly. “You can just say if you’re looking for someone to talk to, you know.”He grunted instead of responding, but when I turned to go back inside, he slid over to make room for me on the bench and patted the space beside him almost reluctantly. I sat down, but he seemed too tongue-tied to know where to start.I sighed.“You know how I have a lot of secrets?” Since Faren’s recovery from the poison I’d given him – he said he didn’t blame me, but I’d never stop feeling guilty for his months of coma and resulting amnesia – I hadn’t filled him in on everything he’d known before his memory loss. I’d been honest about keeping things from him, which helped my conscience a little, but it wasn’t the same as telling him everything..
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